Flood

The London Eye? Doesn't fall. Am I the only one disappointed?

AND NO FUCKS WERE GIVEN DURING THE SHOOTING OF THIS FILM!!!
Yes, I have found a movie in which no one gave a care as to what kind/how good their performance was. Even Robert Carlyle, the guy who made Eragon just barely bearable was a freaking honey badger for this movie!

Carlyle don't give a fuck!

The film is your run of the mill cliche ridden flick about a storm that comes for Merry ol' England at the same time the highest tide of the year approaches. The combination of these two water sources causes a barrier in the Thames to fail and the water floods right over it and into the streets of London.
Robert Carlyle plays Rob....fuck it with the same first name I just called him Carlyle! He is a military scientist who helped build the barrier. His ex wife (or maybe they are just separated. She's seeing other people, but keeps his last name!) Sam is also working on the barrier. Rob's father has believed for some time that this could happen, but no one believed him, not even his son. Now that it's happening everyone goes 'oh shit' and freaks.
So evacuation procedures are set in and people are led out of the flood zone, but it's king of hard to evacuate half of London in the three hours they had. See the top weather guys in Whitehall thought that the storm would veer off to Holland and when it doesn't everyone hates him.
In the meantime Rob, his father, and Sam are still at the barrier when the surge of water hits it. Pretty much everyone else working there dies and the three get out to a platform. Seeing it as their only option the Sam and Rob jump into the water, leaving Rob's father on the barrier.
I guess that wasn't such a good idea because soon after a helicopter shows up and saves the father! He is taken to Whitehall to help track the storm and make sure no one else dies.
Sam and Rob manage to find a boat and a small raft which carries them.....to the sewers....somehow. I have no clue how London's pipe system works! They find a few other survivors and make their way to the surface. Of course we have the cliches like the family, the Underground workers who are the skinny and fat 'comic relief' of which the fat one dies. The secondary characters don't get much screen time unless they die dramatically so it's mostly focused on Sam and Rob's barely mentioned reconciliation.
The film is filled with our group traveling through halls, tunnels, and other passage ways each time chased by the raging water of the overflowing Thames.
They emerge out to the streets as the storm passes and people emerge from their various hiding places to beg for rescue. The media seem surprised that so many people survived by CLIMBING TO THEIR ROOFTOPS!!
BUT WAIT!! All is not well, as our three main characters may just have a happy ending. WE CAN"T HAVE THAT!!! This is a disaster movie! One of them must die in a convoluted bullshit way to depict further the gravity of the situation!
Apparently the barrier (being closed) is keeping the water in London. Opening the barrier will somehow ebb the water away from London, if they don't.....oh fuck it I have no clue what they are talking about. They talk about opening the gates in the river counteracting the surge and pulling all the water back, out of the city. I have no idea... Here's the vid (I think where it's explained at about 2:30 ish). See if you can get it better.

Flood Part 8

So to enact this plan of Rob's father the three of them return to the barrier to open it. In order to do this someone needs to get into a room that is flooded and operate a drainage system that will enable them to gain access to the nesessary controls. But whoever does this will enact security measures, trapping them in a flooded room until the run out of air.
In the meantime the army, of course, needs to have a plan B that includes blowing something up! So they mobilize planes to destroy the barrier if they run out of time.
Sam, Rob, his dad and a random military officer try to decide who goes in to die. The military guy tries, but he doesn't know the barrier well enough, so Rob volunteers to go. This enacts the tearful goodbye between Rob and Sam, while the cliched father walks off to go himself... This triggers the son at a locked door trying to get his father to come back, but Carlyle, as I said does not give a fuck and I just don't believe this scene at all. He barely does anything. I mean, I know you had issues with your father until the beginning of this film, but that's your dad going to his death to save your ass, bang the door with an extinguisher or something!
So Carlyle's dad goes in and does what he needed to do (override the manual systems apparently) and the military load up their planes to blow them up!
They get the gates open just before the planes launch, saving everyone.....goody..
Oh, and here's another thing that pisses me off: The dad takes off his O2 mask BEFORE IT'S OUT OF AIR!! Yes, he was told that he would run out of air before anyone could save him, but don't just give up like that! 'Okay I'm done, saved everyone, now I'm gonna die! WEEE!' *bubbles bubbles dead*
So the water goes back to where it belongs and Carlyle has another unconvincing cry over his dead dad everyone else lives happily ever after.

I'm not sure what the budget was for this film, but...I think it was all put into big name actors who knew the script was shit and just threw their hands up saying 'fuck it'. Yes there are a few fleeting moments where they show us a glimpse of their talent, but they are few and far between. Carlyle's performance is one of his worst, I think and this film did not keep my attention at all.
Let me explain that a bit. I am a morbid person. The only reason I became a fan of Carlyle is when I saw him portray a character who was slowly dying! So I thought seeing him in a disaster movie as he repeatedly almost DROWNS would have been appealing to me, but this just did not grab me in the least.

The effects are not great either. The green screens were more convincing in Stargate Universe than in here!

If you are looking for some good white noise while you work with a few moments of distraction, go for this movie, but otherwise skip it!

Movie poster....pretty much says it all.....