Monday, June 23, 2014

5 Problems I have with "The Ecstasies of a Women"

5 Problems I have with “The Ecstasies of Women”

By: A. Aleister Sirrat

Hello Mates, Sirrat in the Hat here back to talk to you about some wonder Sexploitation Films. You know it’s been far too long since I’ve reviewed a sexploitation film of a high quality, but that ended after watching the 1969 film “The Ecstasies of Women”, it’s the story of man named Harry who is about to get married to get married.  The night before his wedding his three best friends take him to a Topless Bar for his stag party.  There the men drink, talk to beautiful women, and Harry has flashbacks to some of his best and most memorable sexual experiences...However, this film isn’t without its faults; I mean it’s soft core porn, of course it’s going to have flaws.  So here are 5 Problems I have with “The Ecstasies of Women”.

1.) It’s hard to focus on the dialogue when there are topless women dancing in the same shot

     Literally the first shot of the film is a close-up shot of girls breasts, and trust me, the nudity only gets more excessive from this point on.  In the most of the background shots of the film you can see at least two women dancing topless on a stage.  How am I supposed to focus on the dialogue and the plot of the story, when I have four bouncy, giggling distractions right in front of me?  I mean, this film’s plot is super hard to focus on.

2.)  I think the cast may have actually been drunk during the filming.

     So the film is set during a stag party, and it’s very typical for guys to drink during stag parties, but I honestly think the alcohol that the cast is drinking in this film may be real booze.  I say that because throughout the film they are randomly slurring and stammering their lines, and it seems a little bit too real, to just be “Good acting”.  I mean it’s a bloody soft core porn for crying out loud, it’s not like they’re going to have the most top quality actors.  Listening to these actors struggle to say their lines is really annoying.  And speaking of annoying sounds, let’s take a look at #3.

3.)  Sound Quality is terrible

     Oh God, as if topless women dancing and drunken line readings didn’t make this film distracting enough, we also have to put up with terrible audio quality.  With loud music playing over the conversations of our cast, it’s almost impossible to understand what they’re saying.  Not even headphones will help you understand them any better; you’re going to have to turn on the subtitles if you want to know what’s going on in the film.

4.)  The Plot is very repetitive

     So the plot to the film is basically this.  The main guy Harry and his buddies are drinking scotch and watching women dance topless on stage, Harry has a flashback to the time he met a beautiful woman in that he somehow convinced to go with him back to his house boat, have a drink, and then have sex on his bed.  In all actuality this film should have only been 15 minutes long, instead of an hour and fifteen minutes long.  Now, I like mindless hardcore nudity as much as the next mate, but only if there’s a solid character driven story involved.

5.)  Encourages Adultery at the end

     Harry is set to be married the morning after his Stag Party.  However, that night he not only drinks and reminisces about his promiscuous past with his mates, but they actually convince the topless dancers to go with them back to his house boat for night of sexual pleasure.  As if cheating on his fiancée the night before their wedding wasn’t bad enough, he also decides to leave her standing at the alter and skips town with the a stripper naked Summer.  For crying out loud, Harry, you have a fiancée and you’re going to give her up for some stripper you just met? I am disappointed in you, sir.  I thought you were finally going to put your playboy lifestyle behind you, settle down, and become a family man.  For shame on you Harry, for shame!

5 Problems I have with "Night of the Cobra Woman"

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Character Analysis: Hobo

Character Analysis: Hobo

By: Brian Cotnoir

Once Again, I am here to talk about one of my favorite characters from one of my favorite films.  I remember the first time I watched “Hobo with a Shotgun”, it was violent, it was gory, it was funny, it was a PERFECT tribute to the old Grindhouse cinema of the 1970’s, and what’s very funny is that this film wasn’t even supposed to be made.  It was a joke trailer made to go with the 2007 film “Grindhouse”, and it actually ended up being made into a feature length film.  Well the Hobo is the main character of the film, and we’re going to take a look at him today.

CHARACTER: Hobo from “Hobo with a Shotgun” (2011)

The nameless Hobo is a man who arrives in the fictional Canadian town of “Hope Town” on a Box car.  Shortly after his arrival, he realizes that coming to Hope Town may have been a mistake.  Hope Town is controlled by a ruthless and vicious crime boss known as The Drake and his two adult sons, Slick & Ivan.  Whatever the Drake and his sons order happens and no one will stop them.  Besides the Drake, there is also rampant crime throughout the city: corrupt cops, pedophile Santa’s, violent robbers, pimps and prostitutes, and a slew of other devious felons.  The Hobo rescues a prostitute, named Abby, from being raped and murdered by Slick (the Drake’s “Favorite Son”).  However, the attack on Slick makes the Hobo the new target for the Police Department—who are all bribed by the Drake.  While in the Police station, the Hobo is held down by Ivan and the Police Chief, while Slick carves the word scum into his chest by the Slick.  The Hobo is eventually found clinging to life by Abby who takes him in, cleans his wounds, and gives him a warm bed to stay for the night.                                              
    The Hobo’s ultimate goal is to go legit and start his own lawn mowing business.  He begs and does demeaning acts in hopes of buying a used lawn mower at a local pawn shop.  However, the day the Hobo goes to buy the lawn mower a trio a violent gun-toting thugs attempt to rob the Pawn Shop.  The Hobo notices a Remington Shot Gun for sale hanging on the wall and uses it to execute the robbers.  He then decides to buy the shotgun and said and goes on a rampage to right the injustices of Hope Town “one shot gun shell at a time”.


Actor Rutger Hauer plays "The Hobo
In the Original “Grindhouse” trailer the Hobo was played by David Brunt, but he turned down the role for the Full-Length version of the film and instead was casted as a Shotgun-wielding Dirty Cop in the film.  The role of the Hobo was re-cast and given to actor Rutger Hauer.  Hauer was an excellent choice for the role.  The way he looks, the way he delivers his lines, just everything he does in the role of the Hobo is perfect.  I honestly can’t think of any other actor that could do the role of the Hobo as well as Rutger Hauer.


Praise Hobo Jesus!
I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed this, but there are a lot of Biblical Themes, References, and Allegory’s in “Hobo with a Shotgun”.  The most prevalent of those Biblical themes is that the Hobo is an Allegory for Jesus. Think about it: he enters a world of sin, and wants to do away with that sin.  The only difference is Jesus used to words and humility to combat the sin, while the Hobo used a shotgun.  But that’s not all.  There’s a scene where Ivan and Slick are having a meeting with their father and they’re sitting at table in front of a portrait of Da Vinci’s “The Last Supper”.  Not only that, but during this meeting Slick expresses his desire to “crucify [the Hobo] to a homeless shelter”.  Sort of like how Pontius Pilot wanted to crucify Jesus; coincidence? I think not!  Not only that, but when Slick makes an obscene reference about Mother Teresa, the Hobo attacks Slick and claims that “Mother Teresa is a God D@mn Saint!”.


The Drake and his sons put a hit out on the Hobo.  If people of Hope Town don’t kill all the homeless and bring the Hobo to him, then the Drake and his sons will start killing off all the children in Hope Town.  After evading the Drake and the towns people—and committing a few more vigilante style killings in the process—the Hobo is eventually captured by a mysterious duo known as “The Plague”.  The Plague turns the Hobo over to the Drake who plans a violent execution for him, known as “the Glory Hole”.  He places a man whole cover around his neck and drops him in the sewer he then places a barbwire noose around his neck (I’m guessing the crown of thorns was a bit too cliché for the film’s director), but before the Drake can decapitate the Hobo he is ambushed by Abby and the fed up residents of Hope Town.  It all comes down to a final epic showdown.  If the Hobo kills the Drake, the police have orders to open fire and execute the Hobo.  The Hobo looks down at the Drake and proclaims “You and me are taking a car ride to hell...and you’re riding shot gun!”.  He kills the Drake and then the police kill the Hobo...Gee, it’s almost like the Hobo was DYING FOR THE SINS of Hope Town. Seriously, if you do not see the Hobo is an Allegory for Jesus, you may need to watch it again and take a closer look.  

Sunday, June 1, 2014

5 Reasons why Ursula from "The Little Mermaid" is the Best Disney Villainess

5 Reasons Why Ursula from the “Little Mermaid” is the Best Disney Villainess

By: Brian Cotnoir

     Well here we are again doing another countdown of the Best and Worst Disney Villains.  I asked my committee who they felt was the Best Disney Villain or Villainess and reasons why they felt that way, and in a stunning upset, Ursula from “The Little Mermaid” was the top pick of my committee (with Scar from “The Lion King” coming in 2nd and Maleficent from “Sleeping Beauty” coming in 3rd). I got a wide variety of reasons why too so here are 5 reasons why Ursula from “The Little Mermaid” is the Best Disney Villain.

1.) She’s a sea witch (rather than an ordinary human)

The Disney Villain Mold typically follows the same pattern of the Disney Princess Mold.  There’s a villain who is evil for the sake of pure evil or who just wants power.  You have to admit that most Disney Villains look very humanlike, but Ursula is different.  She has purple skin, a short hair cut and a full-figure rather than a traditional tall slender frame.  Not only is she different from the other Disney Villains, but she is unlike any other character in the film.  Unlike the other undersea beings like the mermaids who have fins for legs, she has tentacles for legs.  She’s also more creature than human and since she was the villain in Disney’s First Princess story film in over 20 years, Ursula set the standard for Disney Villains to be different at the beginning of the so-called Disney Renaissance.

2.) She proves Big Girls can be just as bad.

Ursula is a very—shall we say—curvaceous character.  You have to admit that even Disney tries to make their villains attractive.  The Evil Queen from “Snow White” is an fairly attractive women, Gaston from “Beauty and the Beast” has muscles and a long hair,  and have you seen Angelina Jolie in the live action version of “Maleficent” girl is thin, sexy, and absolutely gorgeous  The fact that Ursula is a heavier built character is quite an impressive feat.  She not only proves that bigger girls can be just as bad as the other Disney Villains, but they can maybe be the baddest of them all.

3.) She has valid motivation (and kept her end of the bargain)

Anyone else think she'd be a great James Bond Villain???
Ursula is one of the few Disney villains out there that actually puts a lot of thought into their evil plans.  It’s not like Ariel just showed up and she made it up on the fly in hopes that everything would work flawlessly; no, she knew exactly what she was doing from the beginning.  She convinces the naïve Ariel to sign a contract with her saying that she will give Ariel legs in exchange for her voice.  Ariel will have 3 days to receive a kiss from her true love or else she will be transformed back into a mermaid and belong to Ursula.  Unbeknownst to Ariel, Ursula plans to sabotage the whole thing so that her father, King Triton, will have to come and rescue her and sacrifice himself to save his youngest daughter.  Once King Triton is out of the way, Ursula will be the ruler of the undersea kingdom of Atlantica, which is what she wanted all along.  And even though, Ursula planned to betray Ariel the whole time, she still kept her end of the bargain.  I’m not saying she was morally right, I’m saying from a legal standpoint she was right.   

4.) She’s a Transgender advocate.

True Story
Ursula’s design, for those of you weren’t already aware, was inspired by a Drag Queen named Divine.  Wow, you know for a company that prides itself on being very Family Oriented and Traditional, I would not expect any writers or storyboard artists from Disney to use a transvestite as a model for one of its characters.  Well, in retrospect, it’s good idea because “The Little Mermaid” does have some subtle—unintentional—nods to transgender advocacy.  In my “5 Reasons why Ariel from The Little Mermaid is the Most Misunderstood Disney Princess Article” I also talked about how Ariel is a Transgender Advocate (she was a born a mermaid, but wants to be human; in a similar way to some people in the world want to change their own genders).  So there’s another way of how Ursula helped change the standard of how Disney Villains are written and designed.

5.) She has Best Disney Villain Song

     How great of a song is “Poor Unfortunate Souls”?  I mean it has to be one of the —if not the BEST—Disney Villain song ever written.  Howard Ashman and Alan Menken wrote a fantastic original number for this film and voice actress Pat Carroll sings it better than anyone else.  I mean it’s better than “Be Prepared”, better than “Hellfire”, better than “Friends on the Otherside” (which are all great Villain songs in their own respect), but “Poor Unfortunate Souls” is set the standard for what a Great Villain Song truly is. 

     So there are 5 Reasons why Ursula from “The Little Mermaid” is the Best Disney Villainess.  Be sure to check out some of my other Disney Villain Articles and stay tuned for future articles on Disney Villains.  Take Care all.

Das Film Junkie