Saturday, November 22, 2014

Character Analysis: Otis B. Driftwood

Character Analysis: Otis B. Driftwood

By: Brian Cotnoir

     Oh My.  It has been ages since I’ve done a Character Analysis.  I guess I should do something about it and do one on one of my Favorite Film Characters of All-Time.  I find that when it comes to the Horror films directed by musician Rob Zombie people either love them or they hate; there is no middle ground.  I happen to be a fan of all things pertaining to Rob Zombie.  And I think the most creative and interesting thing he’s created was the character Otis B. Driftwood.   

CHARACTER: Otis B Driftwood from “The House of 1000 Corpses” (2003) and “The Devil’s Rejects” (2005).
Otis in "The House of 1000 Corpses"
Otis B. Driftwood is an American serial killer who lives in the small fictional town of Ruggsville, Texas.  He is named after a character Groucho Marx film “A Night at the Opera” (1935).  There is no confirmation as to whether or not Otis B. Driftwood is his actual birth name or whether it is a nickname/alias.  He lives with a group of people called “The Firefly” family (also named after characters from the Marx Brothers Films) however Otis shares no blood relation to any members of the Firefly family.  His is a man who is sadistic in nature and enjoys kidnapping people and submitting them to many horrible and disgusting forms of torture.  The first time we meet Otis he is up in the attic with 5 High School cheerleaders that he kidnapped.  He is furious that he can’t come up with a great idea of what to do with them.  He later takes 4 travelers that Baby and Rufus Firefly bait and trap.  Otis turns one of them—a man named Bill—into a half-man, half fish creation (who he decided to name “Fish Boy”) for Captain Spaulding’s museum.     
Otis in "The Devils Rejects"
    Since he is an albino, it would make sense that he works best at night and in isolation because that way he can protect his pale skin from the hot Texas sun.  Otis is most handy with knives.  He is a master skinner and in both films he manages to successfully skin off the faces of a man he killed and then wears their face as a mask. Otis also has a short temper and is constantly arguing with all members of the Firefly family.  His temper usually turns into extreme acts of violence including stabbings, maiming’s, beatings, burnings, rape, necrophilia, and murder.  Most amazingly enough is how he overcame his birth defect albinism (...somehow?) in the 10 months between the ending of the first film and the beginning of the second film.


Actor Bill Moseley
Otis B. Driftwood is played by veteran actor Bill Mosely in both films.  Most today recognize Moseley since he appeared in “The House of 1000 Corpses” and “The Devils Rejects”.  Bill Moseley just does a fantastic job in this role; he completely makes Otis his own character.  Even though he’s a supporting character in “The House of 1000 Corpses” he is without a doubt the most recognizable and memorable supporting cast member.  He was so popular and beloved in the “The House of 1000 Corpses” that he was upgraded to a main character in “The Devils Rejects”.  You can usually see Bill Moseley front and center in most of the advertisement and merchandise for “The Devils Rejects”.  What’s great about Mosely’s portrayal is how little he changes Otis’s personality between films.  While characters like Captain Spaulding and Baby Firefly go from being funny and ditsy to tough, angry, and ruthless, Moseley makes no changes to Otis’s personality:  he is still angry, he is still violent, and he is still a complete f*cking sociopath.

When I met Bill Moseley back in 2012
and he pretended to be interested in a story
that I was telling him.  It was GREAT day :)


     I looked up scenes with Otis B. Driftwood from Groucho Marx’s “A Night at the Opera” to see if there were any similarities between Groucho’s Otis and Bill Moseley’s Otis and in the few scenes I found on-line, the only similarity I found between the characters was the name.  Otis’s personality is clearly inspired by notorious American Serial Killer Charles Manson.  Some of Otis’s lines in the films are direct lines taken from interviews of Charles Manson.  Otis even looks similar to Manson.  As for his fetish with experimenting on human bodies and the necrophilia, well that sounds like another American Serial Killer, Ed Gein, to me.                          
    Now as for other fictional characters in film that Otis is similar to, I’m going to say he’s pretty much identical to Luigi Largo from “Repo! The Genetic Opera” (2008); another role done by actor Bill Moseley.  Just from watching Moseley as Luigi in Repo you can clearly tell he brought some of Otis’s character traits to the role like the violent temper and enjoyment of stabbing and skinning people for the fun of it.  However, Luigi leaves the wearing of other people’s skin to his brother Pavi.

=THIS :)


Otis don't care.
Otis along with Captain Spaulding and Baby Firefly were captured by Sheriff John Quincey Wydell, he takes them back to the Firefly ranch to personally torture and punish them for their crimes and avenge the death of his brother George (who was executed by Mother Firefly in “The House of a 1000 Corpses”).  Before Wydell can finish his brutal and savage execution the family he is killed by Baby’s brother Tiny.  Tiny rescues and sets Otis, Captain Spaulding, and Baby free.  As they three continue with they’re run away journey they run into a heavily armed police barricade.  Rather than surrender, Otis and the others decided to go out in a blaze of glory and gun fire.  The three of them race towards the police barricade exchanging gun fire with the cops.  All though, the film does not show Otis or the others dying on screen in the film, it is heavily suggested that all 3 were killed by the police during the shootout.  And that is the sad end to the life of Otis B. Driftwood.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

5 of the Whitest Songs Ever Recorded (Part I)

5 Of the Whitest Songs Ever Recorded (Part I)

By: Brian Cotnoir

     Now it is true: Music knows no racial boundaries, but the 5 songs I have compiled on this list are—almost—exclusively loved by White People aka the un-coolest demographic in what’s popular. So Kick back as I count down this the 5 Whitest Songs Ever Recorded

5.)  Gettin' Jiggy Wit It by Will Smith

There’s was nothing that more white people loved in the late 90’s-early 2000’s then the squeaky clean raps of Rapper-turned actor-turned rapper again Will Smith.  Will Smith had been writing and recording multiple radio friendly rap songs since the late 80’s, but in the late 90’s his rap career skyrocketed, and the one track of his that was beloved by All-White People was 1998’s Gettin' Jiggy Wit It.  It was a recorded and released a little over a year after the murders of two of Rap’s biggest stars Tupac Shakur and the Notorious B.I.G.  It was a time when the realness and danger of the “Hip Hop Life Style” became to frightening so the radio stations and record companies began searching for a nice clean rap artist with no ties to the street or gang relations.  However, Will Smith’s dull and cheesy raps couldn’t last forever, and eventually fans of Rap & Hip Hop migrated back to the harder sounding Rap Artists.  Artists like...

4.)  The Real Slim Shady by Eminem

     Michigan’s Marshall Mather’s aka Eminem was White People’s first real connection to Mainstream Rap Music since Vanilla Ice (but we’ll get to him later).  Now know disrespect to Mr. Mathers, as he is quite a talented Rapper and performer...however, what people seem to forget is that this led to an army of angry white boys with bleach blonde hair wearing plain white t-shirts and blue jeans saying that they were “The Real Slim Shady.

Be Honest: You all knew a douche who dressed and looked like
this in High School, didnt you??  Don't lie to me. You know you did!

3.)  Shake it Off by Taylor Swift

This song has only been around a few months and the music video for this song has already surpassed 280 Million views on Youtube.  Taylor Swift has been the voice for a whole generation of annoying white girls who were broken up with by that one guy that one time and they still haven’t gotten over it.  However, “Shake It Off” not only is definitely her big crossover hit as it has not only one over swarms of annoying white girls, but also swarms of annoying white guys too.  With its simplistic lyrics, repetitive chorus, and cheesy music video it’s know surprise that Taylor Swift (or “The Little White Girl Who Could” as I prefer to call her) managed to win over swarms of white people with this track.

2.)  Hangin' Tough by New Kids on the Block

Oh yeah, they're toughies!
Before all Boy Bands had structure and a designated formula to follow in order to find success, everything they did was pretty much experimentation.  One of those failed experiements was the attempt to establish the “Tough” Boy Band.  This failure came courtesy of New Kids on the Block’s 1988 single “Hangin' Tough”.  Hey you want to know what’s not tough?  5 White Teenagers from Boston led by Mark Wahlberg’s mulleted brother singing and doing choreographed dances about how tough they are.  This track was definitely a low point in New Kids on the Block’s career.  This song is so bad and so cheesy that it makes the crappy white rap group from the 1985 movie “Teen Witch” look like N.W.A.

Seriously Guys: you make the vid below look credible

1.)  Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice

Now here we go the breakthrough hit for Original Funky White Boy, Robert Van Winkle aka Vanilla Ice.  Now true, practically everyone likes (or at the very least remembers) this song for how cheesy it is, but upon it’s release in early 1990; this was the closest thing any white person had gotten to being “gangsta”.  Twenty-five years later it is still beloved by white people and has become a staple at karaoke bars around the world, and god bless Vanilla Ice for allowing us to here such fresh and funky rhymes.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

5 Ideal Christmas Songs for People who Hate Christmas Music

5 Ideal Christmas Songs for People who hate Christmas Music

By: Brian Cotnoir

Well it’s that’s time of the year again.  That time of year when Christmas music begins to dominate the radio airwaves and echoes throughout every mall, shopping center, and place of business.  However, if you’re like me, you absolutely can’t stand Christmas music.  One there’s only like 30 good ones that have ever been written and practically every single artist has at least attempted to record and/or release a Christmas album with their own rendition of one of those songs.  It’ becomes old and outdated VERY quickly.  So I’m here to tell you of 5 Ideal Christmas Songs for people who hate Christmas Music.  You may not love these songs, but you certainly won’t hate them.  These are 5 Songs you’ll probably want to give a listen to this Holiday Season.

5.) Christmas Night of the Living dead by MxPx

     Want to know what would make the Christmas Season better?  Zombies!  Washington State Punk Pop band MxPx makes this a reality with their song “Christmas Night of the Living Dead”.  Hey Halloween was only 2 months prior to Christmas and the memories of that holiday are still fresh in the minds of lots of people, so I think that this track is the perfect combination of both those holidays

4.) Coming out for Christmas by Voltaire and Homo Christmas by Pansy Division

     Now we talk about a subject this is also neglected during the Christmas Season.  I of course, am talking about Homo Eroticism.  We are lucky to have not one, but two awesome tracks to deal with the subject of being gay on Christmas.  On one hand you have Dark Cabaret and Goth Legend, Voltaire, with a cheery and humorous song about coming out to your family on Christmas.  Then you have Queercore band Pansy Division’s romantic and equally as humorous track “Homo Christmas” about wanting to be that one (presumably gay) man’s special Christmas gift that year.

3.) Merry Merry Merry Frickin’ Christmas” by Frickin’ A

     Want to know what’s great about Christmas?  Getting lots of presents and getting absolutely shlockered!  Want to know what’s not great about Christmas?  Having to interact with your family! Ohio 
Pop Rock band Frickin’ A sums up all these feelings in their song “Merry Merry Merry Freaking Christmas”. And if you’re a Boston Red Sox fan like myself, the band also released another version of this song about the Red Sox capturing their first World Series title in 86 years in 2004.  The lyrics were slightly altered to be about the Red Sox win, but it is still very much a great Christmas song.

2.) Fairytale of New York by The Pogues ft. Kristy MacColl

Not only is this one of my Favorite Christmas Songs, but it is one of my Favorite Songs of All Time.  The bands singer/song writer Shane MacGowan wrote a beautiful song that singer Kristy MacColl accompanies him on that starts off sad and sweet, but then takes a surprising turn for the awesome when you learn that it’s about two Irish Immigrants who get into a domestic fight on Christmas Eve and have to spend their Christmaslocked up in a jail cell in New York City.  With lyrics like “You scumbag/you maggot/you cheap lousy faggot/happy Christmas you ass/I thank God it’s our last” being sung over traditional Irish folk music, how can you not fall in love with song as much as I have?

1.) Oi to the World! by The Vandals

California Punk band the Vandals recorded and released a Christmas in 1996 that contains tracks such as “A Gun for Christmas”, “My First Christmas (As a Woman)”, and “I don’t believe in Santa Claus”. However, the album’s title track “Oi to the World!” is hands down the best one on the album.  It’s a song in the Oi! Punk style about a British Skinhead and Pakistani Immigrant who is also a fan of Punk who get into a bar brawl and their fighting is only brought to an end after God came down on Christmas day to say Oi!  To the punks and to the skins!  This song is so popular and beloved that it was actually covered by the band No Doubt a few years later.  In fact, a lot of people think “Oi to the world!” is a No Doubt song, but it was originally written and recorded by The Vandals.  No matter which version you prefer, there’s no doubt about it: “Oi to the World” is an awesome Christmas song.