Friday, August 28, 2015

A Tribute to my Favorite Driver Justin Wilson

A Tribute to Favorite Driver Justin Wilson
By: Brian Cotnoir

     When a driver is killed during a race everything seems to slow down and the garage area at the track seems much smaller.  When I was a little kid I wanted to be a race car driver when I grew up more than anything in the world, but things change and you get older and you head down different paths.  Even though I never raced anything past quarter-midgets I never lost my passion for racing, and still watched it as an avid fan.  As a fan of racing I’ve experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  I’ve shared the excitement of drivers experiencing the thrills of victory and the agony of defeat.  I’ve also experienced the tragedy of watching a driver lose his life during a race.  I’ve seen many great drivers like Greg Moore, Dale Earnhardt. Sr, and Dan Wheldon lose their lives during a race, and now I’ve experience another great tragedy, the loss of my favorite IndyCar driver, Justin Wilson.

          When I first started following IndyCar more closely a few years back I remember being very intrigued by this English race car driver named Justin Wilson.  He wasn’t the best driver, he didn’t drive for the best team, but he was always a competitive driver and always had this strong charismatic presence on TV.  I’d watch the Indy race pre-show just knowing that at some point they were going to interview him, and he was going to say something witty and amusing.  Justin Wilson was my favorite Indy car driver for all of those reasons.  I admired him not just for his driving abilities, but for his charisma and humor, and his pure passion for the sport.  I remember the excitement I felt back in 2012 when I saw him pull the upset victory (and final win of his career) at Texas Motor Speedway when he was driving for Dale Coyne Racing.  I’m going to miss watching him race, and the pre-race show just won’t feel the same without Justin around to interview.  You see Race car drivers and their fans have a very unique bond.  Racing is one of the few sports out there where all the competitors run the risk of being seriously injured or losing their lives.  Yes, athletes in other sports like basketball, football, hockey, and baseball all run the risk of being injured during competition, but very rarely is it a life threatening injury.  Also, the Auto Racing Schedule is spread through almost the entire year.  Every Weekend, we invite the drivers into our homes on our television; it almost feels like you’re getting a visit from a cousin or a very good friend.  You see them interview the drivers, and the drivers let us get glimpse into what their lives are at home and what they’ve been up to. You feel more like you’re catching up with them than anything.  Then there is the most important difference that sets racing apart from all the other sports.  In sports like baseball and football players (typically) associate with members of their own team only on game day, but in racing all the drivers are friends and indeed part of a great, big racing family.  They may drive for different teams and manufacturers, but before and after the race they are all part of the same family.  

     And so the racing community has to mourn the loss of one its Best & Brightest drivers.  For the rest of my life I don’t think I’ll ever be able to watch another IndyCar race or pre-show without wishing that Justin Wilson was still alive today and there, but knowing now that on the same day we lost him, his organs was used to save six other people, is the most amazing way I can think of to honor Justin’s memory.  It won’t be just the pictures and videos that will keep his memory alive; there are 6 people in the world that are still alive today because of Justin Wilson.

We’re going to miss you Justin, Godspeed.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

The Top 5 Worst Nicki Minaj Lyrics

Top 5 Worst Nicki Minaj Lyrics
By: Brian Cotnoir

Hello all, it’s me again here with a brand new edition of “Top 5 Worst Lyrics”, where I point out how stupid and awful the lyrics written by some of the most popular bands and recording artists in the world.   Now unlike my last article where I tore apart that no talented hack Billy Joel, I decided to pick an artist I’m completely indifferent towards: Nicki Minaj.  Now Nicki Minaj has some good songs, she has some weird songs, and then she has songs that make you go “What the hell is she saying?!  Did I hear that correctly?!  I personally don’t have anything against Nicki Minaj; I can understand why people like her music, but there’s no denying that her lyrics aren’t always on par.  And I’m not the only one who feels this way.  Watch any of the Rap Critics Videos on Youtube, and you will see the depth of the awkwardness of Nicki Minaj’s lyrics.  Now I just want to point out that the songs on this list are just from songs that only feature Nicki Minaj, so any bad lyrics she may have sang when she was featured on another artists track will not appear on this list.

5.) Anaconda

I remember the first time I heard this song (and saw the music video) on Youtube and I thought it was stupid, and I was made even more upset when I heard the misused sampling of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”.  Now my opinion on this song has slightly changed.  I still think it’s a stupid song, but every time I hear it, I find that it’s stuck in my head for 3 days and I’m humming it in public.  So I’ve got to give Nicki Minaj credit for coming up with a catchy song. However, I can’t give her credit for this terrible lyric from the second verse of the song

This dude named Michael used to ride motorcycles/dick bigger than a tower/I aint talking about Eiffel’s

Oh what a mess this lyric is, where do I begin?  The first thing that comes to mind is this stupid name rhyming song I learned in kindergarten—one of the lyrics was “Michael, Michael on a motorcycle”—so the fact that Nicki Minaj may have drawn inspiration from a lyric written for 5-year-olds is a little concerning.  The second part of that lyric “dick bigger than a tower/I aint talking about Eiffel’s”.  This is contradictory lyric; first Nicki tells us this guy’s junk is bigger than a tower, but then she says, but it wasn’t bigger than the Eiffel Tower.  The Eiffel Tower stands at height of 986 feet, so from that hint, we can assume is junk is smaller than 986 feet, but I still want to know why doesn’t Nicki tell us what tower that his d!ck is bigger than?  Oh, and one more thing about “Anaconda”: I don’t think the stuff she says in the outro can be considered lyrics because she’s just laughing like a moron and shouting out gibberish!

4.) Starships

“Starships” is one of Nicki Minaj’s stranger songs (and that’s REALLY saying something).  It has a catchy chorus, and verses that I swear she made up on the spot in the studio, because I honestly think there was little-to-know effort put in before they recorded this song.  I mean just look at this lyric:

Jump in my hoopty hoopty hoop/I own that/and I aint paid my rent this month/I owe that/but f*ck who you want, f*ck who you like/Dance our life/there’s not end in sight/Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

First of all I have a very difficult time believing that someone who’s as famous and successful as Nicki Minaj has difficulty making her rent payment.  Also, she owns a Pink $400,000 Lamorghini!  That is like the furthest thing you can have from a hoopty hoop!  I find it rather comedic that she’s still trying to portray herself as being another common person when she’s constantly bragging about and showing off her vast wealth.  And again, I find it concerning that she’s drawing influences from songs written for 5-year-olds (this time in the form of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”)

3.) Your Love

Oh the obligatory love song that all recording artists or forced to make, you know the one where they make it sound like they’re super in love with someone who doesn’t even exist.  What other logical reason could there be for this ridiculously stupid and offensive lyric:

Anyway I think we met in the sky/When I was a Geisha and he was a Samurai/Somehow I understood him when he spoke Thai

Oh Nicki, I wish someone would have pointed out to you sooner that Geisha’s and Samurai’s are both Japanese and have NOTHING to do with Thailand. They are two entirely different cultures with different languages and everything!  I can’t believe your studio let you release a line with a lyric that stupid! And speaking of Stupid...

2.) Stupid Hoe

Let’s take a look at some of the lyrics to her song “Stupid Hoe”:

You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe/You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe/You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe

Okay that’s as dumb as it is repetitive, but let’s take a look at some of the other lyrics:

Ice my wrists and I piss on bitches/you can suck my diznik if you take the jizzes”(???????????????????????????) this is a diss song aimed at Lil’ Kim, but I don’t really see how this is a diss to someone like Lil’ Kim because if one thing has been made apparent by these lyrics it’s that Nicki Minaj is the stupid hoe, and not Lil’ Kim.

1.) I Endorse These Strippers

Now, I’m not surprised that Nicki Minaj has a song where she’s endorses strippers because I think it’s more than safe to assume that many strippers work to the music of Nicki Minaj.  However, this song isn’t that sexy, and in fact the least sexy lyric from “I endorse these strippers” has to be:

Oooooh, Boobs, Boobs, Boobs, Boobs, lotta boobs

Now, I know some of you are saying to yourselves “Yeah, Rap Critic already ripped apart this song lyric before”, and you are correct.  Hey, even a critic whose as opinionated as myself can point out when another critic beat him to it and/or did a much better job at it, so instead of me attempting to point out how stupid this lyric is, just watch the Rap Critics video below for the Best Analysis of how stupid this lyric is.

Rap Critics Take on "I Endorse These Strippers"

Well Nicki, I’m sorry I bashed you so much, but just know I only do it out of hope that you will see the error of your ways and put out better songs and raps like we all know you’re capable of.  You have the skill and the ability, Nicki, come on we all know you can do better than this!

Top 5 Worst Billy Joel Lyrics