Saturday, November 7, 2015

The Top 5 Worst Nirvana Lyrics

The Top 5 Worst Nirvana Lyrics

By: Brian Cotnoir

Hey All.  So I don’t think anyone is as surprised as me of the recent popularity of my new segment “Top 5 Worst Lyrics”.  Usually my music related posts aren’t that popular or as well received as my film posts, but I have to say I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback for my Worst Lyrics articles.  However, one criticism I keep receiving is that I pick on popular artists that lots of people like that I just don’t care for at all.  So to be fair, I’ve decided to rip apart the lyrics of a band I really like.  From sophomore year of High School until the year I graduated after college I always had at least one poster of Kurt Cobain hanging in my room; I even once played bass in a Nirvana cover band (we weren’t all that good).  As much I am a fan of Nirvana, I can admit that not all of Kurt Cobain’s lyrics can be considered poetic gold. So here they are for you: the Top 5 Worst Nirvana Lyrics Ever.  Now just to clarify, I’m not saying these songs are bad, I’m just saying that one or two lyrics that don’t sound as good or fit in well with the rest of the song.  So here we go.

5.) In Bloom

Now personally, this is one of my favorite Nirvana songs, but the lyrics are someone peculiar.  It is said by some that Kurt Cobain wrote the lyrics to “In Bloom” to make fun of fans of Nirvana who showed up to shows and could never sing the right lyrics.  Other reports say that the song is Cobain poking fun at his friend, Dylan Carlson.  The worst (and trust me, I’m using that term very thinly) lyrics in the song has to come from the chorus

He’s the one who likes all our pretty songs/and he likes to sing a long/and he likes to shoot his gun/but he knows not what it means”.

I always wondered why Cobain chose to end it with “He knows not what it means” instead of “but he don’t know what it means”?  I know plenty of people who always thought Cobain sang “but he don’t know what it means”, and to be honest I think it flows much better than the oddly jumbled “he knows not what it means”, but that’s just my opinion.

4.) All Apologies

This mournful ballad from Nirvana’s 1993 album “In Utero” has been very popular with fans of Nirvana since the death of Cobain.  But when you actually take a moment to examine the lyrics the song is just Cobain spitting out a bunch random and jumbled lyrics such as:

I’ll take all blame/aqua seafoam shame/sunburn with freezer burn/choking on the ashes of her enemy” 

Not to mention the song features a lot of repetitive lyrics such as:

In the sun/in the sun I feel as one” and the outro “all and all is all we are

I understand why people like this song, but I think it’s a more simplistic and less deep then most people think.

3.) Dumb

I used to own a poster of Kurt Cobain from MTV Unplugged and the poster featured lyrics from the Nirvana song “Dumb”, and I can’t tell you how many times I would look at that poster and say to myself “that’s a really dumb lyric”.  The lyric I am talking about:

I think I’m dumb/or maybe just happy/think I’m just happy

Which is it, Kurt?  Are you dumb or happy?  Is this like a reference to that old saying “Ignorance is Bliss” what is the meaning of this—as you put in—dumb lyric?

2.) On a Plain

I’m not sure if “On a Plain” can count as a song, because it just appears to be a bunch of garbled words sung together.  I mean just look at the opening lines:

I’ll start this off without any words/I got so high that I scratched till I bled

But wait it gets weirder than that

“My brother died every night/It’s safe to say/don’t quote me on that” and “Black Sheep got blackmailed again/forgot to put on the zip code”???

Then there’s one of the laziest choruses ever:

I’m on a plain/I can’t complain

Seriously, how high was Cobain when he wrote this song?

1.) Sliver

One thing, I’ve always heard about Kurt Cobain was that he was this deep, sensitive, progressive songwriter, well he proved to be none of those things on the song “Sliver”. The song is basically the story about a time when Cobain was a young child and his parent’s dropped him off at his grandparents so they could go out on a date.  Somehow, Cobain manages to make this first-world problem sound like a more serious issue.  The verses are to “Sliver are only 2-3 sentences long followed by Cobain shouting “Grandma take me home/Grandma take me home”.  I’m dead serious when I say this: I think “Sliver” is Nirvana’s version “Ob-La-Di, “Ob-La-Da”.

So there you have it: Those are the Top 5 Worst Nirvana lyrics, but even with all that terribleness, Nirvana is still one of the greatest and most influential American Rock Bands of All-Time.  Be sure to subscribe and join us again on another edition of “Top 5 Worst Lyrics”.

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Sunday, November 1, 2015

5 MORE Awesome Films that (almost) no one has heard of before (PART 2)

5 MORE Awesome films that (almost) no one has heard of before (PART II)

By: Brian Cotnoir

We’ve all been in this scenario before:  You’re talking to a group of friends or people about some film and then one person says “They’ve never heard of (or seen)” and then another person goes “Oh My God! You have to see it, it’s amazing!”.  Yes, we’ve all been in that conversation before.  Now here are 5 More Awesome films that(almost) no one has heard of before.

1.) Tokyo Gore School

Not to be confused with the film of the similar name “Tokyo Gore Police”, “Tokyo Gore School” has elements of Horror, Action, and Suspense.  Don’t let the title of this film fool you, it’s surprisingly not that gory.  The premise of “Tokyo Gore School” is actually one of the best I’ve ever heard of for a film: groups of students in Tokyo are beating up their classmates and taking their cellphones, so they can text their phone number to an unknown source, who then releases some of that person’s most personal and darkest secrets to everyone in their contact list.  The films primary focus is on popular high school boy named Fujiwara, and how he becomes the primary target of most of the students at his school.  When it starts off, only one boy is trying to take Fujiwara’s cellphone, but as the film progresses larger and larger groups of students do battle with Fujiwara.  “Tokyo Gore School” is an action packed thrill ride that features wonderful cinematography, a completely unique and original story, and some awesome fight choreography as well.  “Tokyo Gore School” is ideal for fans of Asian Cinema and fans of films like “Battle Royale” and “Grotesque”. 

2.) Ed Wood

Unless you’ve spent your entire life living under a rock, you’ve more than likely heard of writer/animator/director Tim Burton.  Burton is a figure beloved by many, and some of his films like “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and “Beetlejuice” have gone on to become cult classics and have developed loyal followings.  Burton is even known for his creative re-imagining’s of classic works of literature such as his adaptations of Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland” and Washington Irving’s “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”, so it might seem strange to you that I’d be including one of Burton’s films on a list of unknown films (considering how well known he is).  However, I find that most people haven’t heard of or seen his film “Ed Wood”; a bio-pic on notorious director Edward D. Wood Jr.  The film was released in 1994 and is shot entirely in Black & White.  The film features in an All-Star Cast including Johnny Depp, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Martin Landau (who won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of Horror Icon Bela Lugosi).  I actually consider “Ed Wood” to be one of—if not the—Best film Tim Burton has made to date, so if you truly consider yourself a fan of Tim Burton, then you must see “Ed Wood”.

3.) Five Minutes of Heaven

Five Minutes of Heaven” is an excellent TV movie that you can usually find on Netflix Instant.  It’s a film that focusses on the long lasting conflict in Northern Ireland between Protestant members of the Ulster Volunteer Force and the Catholic Irish Republican Army and stars Liam Neeson and James Nesbitt.  It’s the story of a man named Aleister Little (Neeson) who seeking forgiveness from Joe Griffin (Nesbitt), the younger brother of a man he murdered years earlier.  Unbeknownst to Neeson’s character, Joe has been waiting for the day he can meet Aleister Little so he can kill him and finally have his vengeance.  “Five Minutes of Heaven” has so much great build up and drama, and probably the best movie climax I have seen (so far).  Not to mention, Nesbitt and Neeson both give phenomenal performances.  If you have a chance to see, I highly recommend you check out “Five Minutes of Heaven”.

4.) Death Machine

The Oldest film on this list; “Death Machine” is a 1994 Sci-Fi Action film that can only be described as FanBoy Catering at its best.  Set in the distant future of 2003, the story follows a heroine Hayden Cale as she tries to stop an evil killer robot created by a disgruntled former employee (played by Brad Dourif).  The film was written and directed by Stephen Norrington, who worked on the first “Alien” film.  The film makes numerous references to “Alien”, “RoboCop”, and “Evil Dead”.  I wrote an article about “Death Machine” a few years back for another blog I am Chief Editor for, so if you’d like some more details on why this is a great film then I highly recommend you click the link below and check it out.

5.) Cherry

Cherry” is a 2010 Indie/Romance starring Kyle Gallner, Laura Allen, and Britt Robertson.  It’s the story of a boy named Aaron who is trying to escape the high expectations of his mother and form a new identity as an Ivy League Freshman.  Kyle ends up developing a crush on an older woman at one of his art classes at school named Linda.  The two quickly become friends, but things get a little complicated when Linda’s 14-year-old daughter Beth develops a crush on Aaron.  This film is fun and witty.  It’s a story we’ve seen time and time again, but with so many memorable and likeable characters, it’s almost impossible to enjoy the quirkiness and charm of “Cherry”.