Saturday, September 19, 2015

An Open Letter to Harley Quinn

Dear Harley Quinn,
    I’ve seen all the buzz about you appearing in the upcoming “Suicide Squad” film.  I know a lot people are excited to see you finally on the big screen, and I wanted to let you know that from the bottom of my heart...I do not like you at all.  Actually, I take that back, it’s not that I don’t like you Harley Quinn, it’s that I CANT STAND YOU!  And no, this isn’t me just being an internet troll trying to get a rise out of you; I legitimately can’t stand you and find you to be very annoying.  My dislike for you goes back, all the way back to your creation.  You see when I was 5-years-old my life was simple and grand:  My mom would pick me up from the bus stop after school, and I’d come home have a snack and watch “Animaniacs” and then my favorite: “Batman: The Animated Series”.  Even as a little boy I found you annoying, Harley.  I loved the Joker, but every time you’d show up, I’d think to myself “Oh Great, She’s Back”. As an adult learning that you were a creation of the show and not an original comic book villain just further justified my beliefs that you were an unnecessary addition to the show.           
Now some would argue that you were just there to appeal to new female audience members, who wouldn’t normally watch the show, seeing as Batman is a very male dominated comic book series.  I’m going to call shenanigans on that because the comic book series already had the female characters Poison Ivy and Catwoman long before you were even thought of, and they are way hotter than you.  Some may also claim you were there in the show as “comedic relief”, and again, I’m going to have to call shenanigans on that.  The show already had comedic relief, and that came from The Joker.  Seriously, Mark Hammill was both hilarious and frightening as the voice of The Joker in “Batman: The Animated Series”, and even he found you annoying in the show!  So many times I saw you him tell you to go away in the show. I even recall one episode where he through you out a window because he found you to be so annoying.  Why couldn’t you just take a hint that no one wanted you around, Harley?          
At least 20 couples just like this at every single Con
Besides that Harley, you’re a Fangirl, and I don’t think there is anything more annoying than a Fangirl.  So you’re obsessed with The Joker, Harley.  That’s really you’re only distinguishable character trait.  You are obsessed with The Joker, you are in love with The Joker, and you want to be with The Joker, so what?  You’re Fangirl catering only got more annoying after Christopher Nolan’s “The Dark Knight” was released in theaters and Fangirls all around the world were dressing up as Harley Quinn while they’re boyfriends dressed up like Heath Ledger’s Joker.  This little stunt I found to be particularly annoying.  You weren’t even in “The Dark Knight”, so how the hell can you Cosplay as a Harley Quinn to a Heath Ledger Joker when you don’t even exist in the Christopher Nolan trilogy!!!!! You’re not even mentioned in any of those films!     Well Harley, the “Suicide Squad” film hasn’t even been released yet, and already there’s talk about what a hit it’s going to be.  I’m sure it will be a hit too, just as I’m sure that you will continue to be annoying, and useless, and an unnecessary Fanboy/Fangirl catering service!  I dare you Harley to prove me wrong. Go on.  Prove. Me. Wrong!


     Das Film Junkie