Saturday, September 13, 2014

Confessions of a Loner (Part I)

Confessions of a Loner (PART I)

By: Brian Cotnoir

     I am a Loner.  In fact, I’m so much of a loner that I actually had the word tattooed on my body (no lie).  It’s something, I’ve grown to accept and embrace.  I like being a loner, and yet I find that so many people have these negative and preconceived notions about loners, and I am here to dispel some of those myths.  I can’t claim to speak for every loner, but these are 4 Things I feel people should know about loners. 

1.) I’m Not Depressed
   I’m absolutely surprised at the amount of people that ask me: “Are you depressed?”.  No, I’m not depressed.  I have never been diagnosed with any form of depression, and after a while I got pretty sick and tired of people telling me that I should “get tested”, to make sure I’m not depressed, “talk to a professional” or “seek help”.  I don’t think my anti-social behavior is a cry for help.  I think these assumptions about loners being depressed are inaccurate and terrible:  Why?  Because depression is a real issue, and when people make remarks about how I must be depressed, because I’m a loner, it takes away the severity from people who actually have depression.

2.) Yes, I do have friends (They’re usually other Loners)

     Another negative misconception about loners is that we don’t want or have friends.  That couldn’t be further from the truth.  Everyone deep down wants and enjoys friends.  A good number of my friends just happen to be other loners, which is actually great.  Loners who are friends with other loners don’t have to worry about explaining their behavior, or being judged. And to answer you’re next question, yes loners do meet up to hang out with other loners, though to be honest I talk to some of my friends ten times more on-line then when I hang out with them.

3.) People bail on me about as often as I bail on them

That moment when you realize "Tonight's going to suck"
So another stereotype associated with loners is that we always bail on people when plans are already made.  That is true to a certain extent.  Going out in public can cause a loner to feel a lot of anxiety, especially when there are a lot of strangers.  So it always helps when we have someone we know go out with us in public.  So, it takes days—sometimes even weeks—for us to psych ourselves out for going out for a night or event.  Sometimes, you’re just not prepared, and you unfortunately have to cancel on someone at the last minute.  It sucks because your friend(s) are always going to be upset with you for bailing at the last minute.  Well, it happens to us too (as much as 50% of the time).  It sucks building your anticipation and trying to convince yourself that you want to go out in public with friends and strangers, so when they bail on us, it—in a way—reassures us that we shouldn’t go out in public.  What’s even worse is when your friends, somehow, convince you that you can all meet up at a place.  On more than one occasion, I’ve gone to a night club, a bar, a concert alone where my friends have said they would meet me.  As I wait anxiously for their arrival so that I will have someone to cling to/talk to with my constantly checking the entrance of the venue in anticipation of my friend’s arrival, only to receive a text message  saying that they decided not to go out at the last there we are left to fend for ourselves.  The ideal thing would be to just leave...however when you’re at a concert and you paid $25-$45 for a ticket (Plus $10 for parking, and $30 on gas) you’re not going to want to waste the money, so you just find a nice dark corner to hang out in and hope you don’t have a panic attack.  So please, think twice before you invite a friend who is a loner out.

4.) Haven’t you ever wanted to be left alone for like an hour?

     As loner I get accused of everything from anti-social, to depressed, to rude, but in all actuality, I’m none of those things, I just want to be left alone, and you know what haven’t you ever wanted the same?  Haven’t you just wanted to be alone for like an hour to just sit back relax, read, maybe watch an episode or two of “Orange is the New Black” or “Game of Thrones”? You work, you go to school, and then you come home and what’s the first thing that goes through your mind?  It’s usually “I just want to be left alone!” isn’t it?  Well, what’s wrong that I ask?  So don’t judge me because I prefer to be alone, it’s something we all want sooner or later.

Einstein get's it!

Friday, September 5, 2014

5 Best Songs about Big Butts

5 Best Songs about Big Butts
By: A. Aleister Sirrat

Hello Friend, Sirrat in the Hat here with another music top five.  You know rather fond of women with large behinds, especially the ones who know how to shake it, shake it.  So Das Film Junkie recommended to me that I do a list counting down the top 5 Best Songs about Big Butts.  So I’ve searched the Youtube high and low I’ve compiled this list so I hope you enjoy it, and if there’s a track about booty that you feel I should’ve included please let me know in the comment section.

5.)  Dance (A$$)Remix-Big Sean ft. Nicki Minaj

     Nicki Minaj has a number of different songs where she references her voluptuous backside, however after hearing her attrockious latest single “Anaconda” (which is about her bum) that I said there was no way I would include her in anyway on this list.  That was until my friend and editor Das Film Junkie told me to check out a single she did with rapper Big Sean, and I was quite impressed.  Not only did I enjoy Nicki Minaj’s contribution to the track, but I also liked Big Sean’s verses and his sampled use of MC Hammer’s “U Cant Touch This

4.)  Shake ya Ass- Mystikal

     Who here remembers the rap artist Mystikal?  You know the lad that sounds like James Brown gone Hip-Hop.  His voice commands all the women shake their a$$ and they happy to oblige.  They referenced him in the 2002 film “About a Boy”; remember they had actor Nicholas Hoult sing the song for a moment of comedy, that had no relevance or effect on the plot whatsoever?  Well whether you like this version or the more radio-friendly version “Shake it Fast”, it is still and enjoyable track.

3.)  Fat Bottomed Girls- Queen

     Das Film Junkie told me that this song has to be #1 on this list.  Even though I am British and a fan of Queen, I felt it was only deserving of the #3 spot on the countdown.  This song was written by the bands guitarist Brian May, and it is sung perfectly by singer Freddie Mercury, and it is a fabulous tribute to the fat bottomed girls around the world who really do make this rocking world go ‘round. 

2.)  Bootylicious- Destiny’s Child

     One thing that sets this track apart from the rest on this list is that it is sung by an all-female group.  Yes, it’s not only men who are fans of big bums, but women who are fans of their own booty’s as well.  This song is like anthem for women with big bums by women with big bums, and if you ask me it’s about d@mn time that they have one!

1.)  Baby Got Back- Sir Mix-a-lot

     Was there ever any doubt what #1 on this list was going to be?  The opening line of the song is “I Like Big Butts and I cannot lie”.  I have never heard a song that manages to get everyone on the dance floor and shaking their bums.  Even though, this songs legacy has recently been tainted when Nicki Minaj decided to sample it on her single “Anaconda” this track still is fantastic.