Thursday, January 14, 2016

The Top 5 Worst Avril Lavigne Lyrics

Top 5 Worst Avril Lavigine Lyrics:

By: Brian Cotnoir

I remember when I first saw Avril Lavigne on TV back when I was in middle school.  She was this cute, but fun looking Punk-Pop Princess, who wrote and sang her own songs.  She was the exact opposite of other female popstars of the time like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera...then two albums later she completely contradicted everything she claimed on her first album, and became everything she implied she would never become; a pop music diva sellout. It’s so weird how the songs she wrote and recorded when she was 17 are so much deeper and better than the songs she writes as an adult...maybe marrying Chad Kroeger just sucked out all her remaining talent(?).  Well today I am here to countdown the worst lyrics Avril Lavigine has written to date.

5.) Anything but Ordinary

This song is called “Anything But Ordinary”, but these lyrics are pretty ordinary (ordinarily bad to be more specific).  Just the opening line alone:

“Sometimes I get so weird/I even freak myself out/I laugh myself to sleep it’s my lullaby”

Those lines sound like something a moody teenager would post on their MySpace Page back in the early 2000’s.  That’s just awful 



4.) Happy Ending

From one brooding emo girl song to another one.  This songs title may sound like a dirty massage parlor story, but actually it sounds more like a bad poem you’d find in an angsty 12-year-old girls diary.  The worst lyrical offender in “Happy Ending” is:

“This is the hardest story that I’ve ever told/No Hope or love or glory/Happy Ending’s gone forevermore”

Wow, she sounds like she’s really trying to force an Edgar Allen Poe reference there.  One thing’s for certain, when this song finally comes to an end, it’s a happy ending for all who are forced to listen to it.



3.) Hello Kitty

Of course Avril Lavigine would have a song about “Hello Kitty”; I mean it’s approximately 1/3 of the merchandise sold at the Hot Topic where she buys all her clothes, but man oh man is this this a bad song.  Just take a look at these lyrics:

“Come come Kitty Kitty/you’re so pretty pretty/Don’t go Kitty Kitty/play with me”

This is God Awful case of Cultural Misappropriation.  It has next to nothing to do with the Hello Kitty brand.  It sounds more like a song a cat owner makes up and says to their cat when they want their cut to stop being a jerk and come sit with them.  These song lyrics are so moronic and cheesy that it makes “Smelly Cat” from “Friends” sound like freaking Mozart!

I'd rather hear "Goodbye, Avril!"


2.) Girlfriend

Okay, seriously how the hell did Avril Lavigne go from writing a well thought out song like “Complicated” when she was 17 and then revert back to this preteen garbage.  I refuse to believe that any self-respecting adult could write anything this bad.  This song (once again) sounds like it was written by a 12-year-old.

“Hey, hey, you, you I don’t like your girlfriend/no way, no way, I think you need a new one/hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend/Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me/no way, no way, no, no it’s not a secret/hey, hey, you, you I want to be your girlfriend”

Okay Avril, I level with you: No...I do not want you to be my girlfriend.  I’d rather you just shut the f*ck up!  For someone who claimed they weren’t Preppy on their debut album and the importance of being honest and true to yourself you’ve certain come a long way to contradict every single thing your first album stood for.  



1.) Sk8er Boi

I’m so glad people don’t type like they used to on AIM anymore.  Hey remember back when Avril first came onto the scene and she presented herself as a Skate Punk Rocker? Well if it wasn’t obvious to you then maybe her song “Sk8er Boi” could make it more obvious for you.  It’s the story of a Skater Boy who once dated a Preppy girl and how her friends didn’t approve of him, and so she broke up with him, and now Avril’s with said Skater Boy and the two of them are happy. Okay, but seriously this:

“He was a skater boy/she said see you later boy/she had a pretty face/but her head was up in space/she needed to come back down to earth”???


What the hell Avril?  That is one of the worst rhyming clusters I’ve ever heard in a song.  This song is bad, which is to be expected of Ms. Lavgine, and it’s kind of sad.  She started out as a strong, independent, pop rock icon, but quickly switched over to the generic soulless, pop princess music genre.  For Shame on you Avril Lavigine, for shame!



7 comments:

  1. Yea, I remember when she came out and looked like a fun and real chick. Saw a few interviews were she seemed friendly and genuine. Then 4 years later she does a complete 180. I have been looking her up and have learned a who lot about her. She turned into one of them that she talked about when she started out except I hear most of them a nicer to there fans than Avril.

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  2. What's weird is thata lot of stories about her and interviews with her and say something different then the other. Anyone want to chat about her email me jb69598@gmail.com

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  3. The one Happy Ending one is not the one by Avril its the one by someone named Mika

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  4. Yeah, why did you include lyrics from Happy Ending by Mika? Did you Google lyrics from Happy Ending and then just quickly copy and paste?

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    1. hmmmm.....it would appear I have made an error

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  5. Are you silly? Anything but ordinary is a gold song

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