Update from the Corseted Critic!!!

I know I know I know I suck at keeping a regular blog!!! I could blame it on work and time constraints, but those are crap given that the other people on this blog are very good at getting something out at least once a week. So let's just blame it on my extreme laziness and slight lack of ideas!
So, I am beginning to seriously think about relocating and a lot of changes will come with this, so forgive me if it takes me a little longer to get stuff out, but I DO HAVE IDEAS!!
Reviews of a few Japanese horror movies will come, a tribute to Guillermo Del Toro, and more.
Plus: I will be doing these in VLogs!! Yes you will get to see my pretty face every week starting next February! I have an idea for a show and am going to try it out!
I always felt I was a more visual person and my text reviews never seemed right. I love theater, acting and am pretty apt at editing. As of right now I have a few scripts in process, so let's see how it goes.
The late date is due to the fact that, should I move, it won't be until next year, so again, I appreciate your patience and can't wait to get started.

:D

The Corseted Critic

5 Songs that Annoying White Girls Love

5 Songs that Annoying White Girls Love

By: A. Aleister Sirrat

Hello Friends.  This is “Sirrat in the Hat”, and I’ve decided to take a break from reviewing French Exploitation films from the 1970’s and do a music Top 5 List like my dear friend Das Film Junkie.  Have you ever been one of those unfortunate souls who’s been out in public; maybe at a bar, or a club, and all of a sudden you hear the ear piercing screams of a group of Annoying White Girls as “their song” begins to play over the loud speakers.  You then have to bear the ungodly spectacle of watching them form a circle and scream every note of the song horribly off key.  It is site and sound that would make anyone envy the deaf and contemplate committing a Japanese ritualistic style suicide on the very spot where they stand.  Be forewarned people that if you are ever out in public where there is music playing, these are the songs that will send any group of Annoying White Girls into a manic frenzy and could cost you your sanity...or worst! @_@

5.) “Someone Like You”- Adele

All right, before you all start posting your death threats in the comment section, let me establish one thing.  This is an excellent song and Adele is a fantastic singer.  When she wrote and released this song it was an instant smash, and for good reason.  Adele revealed a sad personal experience from her life.  She is singing about her own personal heartache.  She is not singing a song about that 3-week relationship that you had with some guy where you stayed up to 2 in the morning chatting on Facebook.  She is not singing too you.  She is also not singing about you!  Oh and one other thing:  YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD THAT HAS GOT DUMPED OR HAD THEIR HEART BROKEN!  Seriously, every person in this world has had their heartbroken at least once in your life.  That guy you met when you were 15 is not the only guy in the world who will ever love you.  There are plenty of people in the world, so stop posting this song’s lyrics as your Facebook Status every time you get dumped.  It’s cliché and it a bad use of a great song.

4.) “Mickey”- Toni Basil

Seriously, you're like old enough to be my grandmother

What girl didn’t secretly wish they were a cheerleader in High School?  It’s nothing to be ashamed of...you know, unless you’re a grown woman in the early stages of menopause who dresses up like a High School cheerleader and writes an annoying as sh!t song that causes annoying white girls to stomp their feet and shout every god d@amn line out loud, like Toni Basil.  Also, why the name Mickey?  When I hear the name Mickey, I don’t think some young, hot, football playing stud; I’m thinking of Mickey Mouse.  This is the kind of song teeny-bop trash that makes Radio Disney DJ’s get hard in the trousers.

3.) “Cotton Eye Joe”- RedNex

     The Most sure fire way to send a group of annoying white girls into a frenzy is to play this song at ever single school dance, wedding, traveling carnival, etc.  Whenever this song comes on you can be assured that every annoying white girl in a 3-mile radius is going to start doing that stupid line dance and start talking about how “Redneck” and “#White Trash” they are as the post pictures of them doing the dance from their IPhone’s on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

2.) “Barbie Girl”- Aqua

     From one terrible Swedish Pop Song to another: Every girl loved Barbie at some point in their life. Some even dreamed of growing up to be like Barbie.  Swedish Pop band Aqua wrote and released a song about the wish of so many girls...and blood still continues to hemorrhage out of our ears every time we hear that girl, who sounds like a hamster who swallowed a year supply of helium, sings.

1.) “Don’t Stop Believing”- Journey

     I don’t get the appeal of the Fox TV Show “Glee”.  All they do is take popular old songs and make a less good version of it.  No recording artist or band is immune to having their song covered this wretched off spring of Kidz Bop & High School Musical.  Not even the great Journey.  Journey is an awesome band, and they have wrote many great songs...but I swear to your God that if I hear one more girl tell me that “Journey’s cover  of ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ is not as good as Glee’s, I’m going to drive a railroad spike through the thick, empty skulls! 
“Glee” does not come up with their own songs, people, they cover songs that were written and made famous by other more talented artists!  WHY DO SO MANY OF YOU NOT GET THIS?!?!?!??!?!?! 

This is good :)

THIS IS GARBAGE!

Old vs New: The Grudge

Recently, I have been watching a few Asian horror films like the Korean White, and the Japanese Sadako 3D (review to come!). These are the films that still scare me. Even after being watched a few times White remains my favorite and still gives me chills.

But why? Why do American films do so little while the Japanese have me using much more of my flashlight app on my phone?

Perhaps we can answer this by comparing a Japanese original and the American attempt. 

In the year 2000 Japanese director Takashi_Shimizu helmed the movie Ju-On. This is a film in a series of creations following a ghost, or curse as it affects those who come in contact with it. 

You see, in Japanese lore, if a person dies a tragic or violent death, then the place it occurs in becomes tainted with the evil spirits of the dead. Should anyone enter the place, then the spirit will some after them and, sometimes, harm their loved ones. 

Ju-On follows those who enter a house in which a horrific crime has been committed. The house seems innocent enough until those who enter it either die or vanish. 

The American remake starring Buffy the Vampire slayer's Sarah Michelle Geller and directed by the same man as the original follows a similar plot with similar characters, just changing a few to more relatable American characters. 

So if they are so similar why does one scare me and one is just meh?

One could argue that it's the foreign aspect. The fact that one of these films is in another language and must be read could, subconsciously be unnerving for me. To be placed in an atmosphere that is unknown to me could add to the effect the movie has. 

It could also be the way it is shot. I have seen most if not all of the Ju-On films (a sequel and two short spin off films were made) and they all have similar ways of telling the story. Sort of like end to beginning. 

The story begins not with how the curse begins, but with one of it's latest victims. You are then taken backwards to who they got the curse from and onwards until you are shown how the curse began. In this fashion you know only slightly more than the characters you see as they encounter the curse. This adds to the atmosphere and engrosses you into what is happening. 

The American remake loses both of these by making the main characters American and keeping a linear timeline (perhaps to not confuse some people). 

Plus I just kept seeing Buffy the whole time! This came out not soon after the show ended and I just could not separate the two just yet!

My advice? If you like one, check out the others! That is, if you don't mind a bit of reading!!

I'm Back!

Okay, so I haven't been posting to this blog very well, but I have some new things in the works that I want to share so you will hear from me a lot more!

First of all I want to explain why I was gone: I fell in love. It's a big sob story which is described in my other blog (you should check it out!), but for the past few months I have not had one 'actor kick'. Next one hasn't shown up yet, so I'm waiting for it to come up.

But now I am back and ready to get going again! I am watching a lot of Japanese and Korean horror movies so an Old Vs New of The Grudge is coming up, and what better time than Halloween! Also, I think an Old Vs. New of a few other remade foreign movies may come up as well!

We'll see!

Good to be back!

5 Songs that were popular in the 90's that you never hear played on the radio anymore

5 Songs that were popular in the 90’s that you never hear played on the radio anymore.

By: Brian Cotnoir

5.) Mambo No. 5 (A little bit of...)- Lou Bega

     Artist Lou Bega took a 50 year old song in 1999 and turned it into a hit with “Mambo No. 5 (A little bit of...)”.  With a great hook, and beautiful dancing girls in his video, “Mambo No. 5” propelled Lou Bega’s debut album A Little Bit of Mambo (1999) into Platinum sales status.  Unfortunately, for Lou Bega, the success that followed “Mambo No. 5” was nowhere near as close in terms of success and popularity.  What else is there to say about this song, other than: thank goodness for Ex-Girlfriends.

4.) Whoomp! (There it is)- Tag Team

     Miami Hip-Hop Group Tag Team found success in 1993 with their song “Whoomp! (There it is!).  This song reached #2 on the Hot 100 Charts and was very popular at Sports Arenas (especially Basketball).  Tag Team actually re-worked the song and released “Hoop!  There it is!” in honor of the Houston Rockets NBA championship in 1994.  This song is considered both one of the greatest “one-hit wonder” songs and also “one of the worst songs of all-time”.  Whether you like this song or not, you have to admit that this was a popular song in the 1990’s.

3.) Blue (Da Ba Dee)- Eiffel 65

     Remember the first time you saw the music video to this song back in 1999?  Wasn’t it one of the coolest things of the decade?  By today’s standards the CGI in this music video is very primitive and crude, but it was one of the things that helped Italian Techno Group Eiffel 65 and their debut album Europop (1999) into superstar status.  However, just like Lou Bega and Tag Team, Eiffel 65 failed to reach the same success with a follow up.  “Blue (Da Ba Dee) may have been the #1 song in over a dozen countries, and received two Grammy Award Nominations, but I’m afraid they are doomed to One-Hit Wonder Status (at least in America).

2.) Gangsta’s Paradise- Coolio

     This song appeared in the 1995 “Dangerous Minds” and propelled Rap Artist Coolio into superstar status in the 1990’s. This song earned Coolio the 1995 Grammy for “Best Rap Solo Performance”.  Later in the decade a feud would ignite between Coolio and Parody-Cover Musician, Weird Al Yankovic, over Weird Al’s parody of “Gangsta’s Paradise” entitled “Amish Paradise”. 

 

1.) Macarena- Los Del Rio

     Holy Shnikes!  This song was INESCAPABLE in the 1990’s. If there was one song the absolutely dominated the radio airwaves and if you went searching through the radio dial, chances are this song was going to be played on at least one of those radio stations.  The song was released Los Del Rio, a band that had been performing and touring since 1962.  It was #1 in the U.S. and many other countries.  From the time it was released it was one of the most successful songs—not just of the year—but of the entire decade.  Who cares if you didn’t understand or know any of the lyrics to the song, because white people were doing that stupid dance at every wedding, family reunion, and birthday party.  This song is what many people to be the “Greatest One Hit Wonder of All-Time”...and yet when’s the last time you heard it played on the radio?  Isn’t it strange?

5 Love Songs from the 90's that all guys secretly like

Character Analysis: P.R. Deltoid

Character Analysis: P.R. Deltoid

By: Brian Cotnoir

     Hey, it’s been a while since I talked about “A Clockwork Orange” on this blog so let’s change that.  So from the time I started doing this “Character Analysis” I’ve wanted to do one on a character from “A Clockwork Orange”, and to most people the obvious choice would be to do one on the story/films main character Alex, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to see that it wouldn’t be much of a challenge.

So sorry, little Alex.  You're just not challenging enough

You see there are literally dozens of articles, videos and analysis’s of Alex on the internet.  Pretty much everything that can be said about him—in both the novella and the film—has already been said, and I really don’t have a lot of new material or ideas I could bring to a “Character Analysis” of Alex.  Even, if I still wanted to write an analysis of Alex it would be far too long, and I’d probably have to break up the article into much shorter articles so as not to overwhelm you, the reader.  I really wish I could have done a character analysis on one of Alex’s cellmates, but unfortunately they were all left out of the film.  As for his Alex’s Droogs, well they were enjoyable, but just not as enjoyable a character Alex.  Plus, Director Stanley Kubrick did make some significant changes to the characters in the film that differ from Anthony Burgess novella, and I feel like I would have spent more time talking about the differences in the characters between the novella and the film rather than analyzing their character.                    

    However, there is one other character in “A Clockwork Orange” that I always enjoyed and he often get’s over looked at that characters is P.R. Deltoid, Alex’s Probation officer.

CHARACTER: P.R. Deltoid from “A Clockwork Orange” (1971)

P.R. Deltoid from "Clockwork Orange" (1971)

    P.R. Deltoid is Alex’s “Criminal Rehabilitation social worker” who was assigned to watch over Alex after an earlier incident (not mentioned in the novella or film) and keep him out of trouble and from making bad choices.  In the novella he’s kind of a dweeb who tries to see the good in everyone and just does a really bad job at trying to motivate Alex and keep him from doing bad things.  In the novel, we are first introduced to him after Alex skips school and he shows up at Alex’s flat to talk to him about working hard and staying out of trouble.  And what does Alex do right after this little “pep-talk”; why he goes out and drugs and rapes two 10-year-old girls of course.      

Bad Touch! Bad Touch!

However, in the film, he comes off more as cunning and is aware of whom he’s dealing with.  In the film you get the vibe that Mr. Deltoid is fully aware of what Alex is capable of doing and that he knows deep down he’s probably been doing some of those things.  His relationship with Alex in the film comes off as “I don’t like you, but I’m stuck with you!  So stay out of trouble and don’t cause me to lose my job!”.   I think this change to his character in the film definitely makes him a more enjoyable character.  He’s also kind of bossy.  At one point he lies Alex down on the bed next to him and grabs him by the balls as if he’s saying “don’t-let-these-impede-with-your-progress.  Don’t-let-these-get-you-into-trouble”.                                 

   The last time we see Mr. Deltoid—in both the novella and film—he is visiting Alex down at Police Station.  Alex has been arrested and charged with murder, and Mr. Deltoid says that he is at “the end of the line [with Alex]”.  He tells Alex that he is on his own from now on and that he no longer responsible for trying to make Alex a parting shot, he spits in the face of Alex and that’s the last we see of him in the film.

THE ACTOR

Actor Aubrey Morris

The Actor who plays P.R. Deltoid is Aubrey Morris.  Besides this the only other notable film that he’s appeared in was “The Wicker Man” (1973).  What I like about Morris’s portrayal of P.R. Deltoid is that he isn’t playing it with blind ignorance like in the novella.  He knows what Alex does and what he’s capable of doing and he lets Alex know that he won’t always be there to rescue him or come to his aid.  To which Alex scoffs.       I also really like the way he talks in this film.  He speaks with an upward inflection when he talks.  Everything he says, ends with him asking a question.  I can’t really explain it that well, but I thoroughly enjoyed how he read his lines.  So much so, that when I was in college the first production I was in required us to speak with English accents, and my opening monologue in the production was 3 pages long and my first 40-or-so lines were questions, and so at the first rehearsal I was reading my lines like Mr. Deltoid as a joke...well the Director and Stage Director thought it was really funny and I was required to talk like Mr. Deltoid through the whole production.  So Aubrey Morris has influenced my stage work some.

Character is similar to or Inspired By:

     I couldn’t find any characters in any film that P.R. Deltoid is similar to.  I do think he kind of sounds like Tim Curry in the film, but his voice was not inspired by Tim Curry because Tim Curry’s first film role didn’t come until 4-years after the release of “A Clockwork Orange”.

The way he talks is just so interesting.

Fate of the Character:

     We don’t really know whatever happened to Mr. Deltoid.  The last we see or hear from in the film and novella was when he spat in Alex’s face down at the police station.  Presumably, he went back to his job, to serve another misguided youth.  I think they could have done a lot more with his character though.  I think it would have been great for him to have been one of the guests at the Minister of The Interiors demonstration following Alex’s stint through the Ludovico Technique.  Maybe, then we could have gotten his opinion on whether he thought it was the best thing for Alex, or maybe he would have said something like “once a delinquent, always a delinquent”.  That really is a change I think Stanley Kubrick should have made in his film version.  I think Mr. Deltoid had a lot more he could have offered the film, but oh well.  It is what it is.   

Character Analysis: The Mad Hatter

Character Analysis: The Mad Hatter

By: Brian Cotnoir

The Mad Hatter from "Alice in Wonderland"

Few tales have the influence and longevity of Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland”.  Since the story it was first published in 1865 “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” has gone on to entertain and inspire countless generations, and it makes sense.  With a bizarre story, in a bizarre setting, and characters who are just as bizarre, it’s should come as  surprise to know one that “Alice in Wonderland” has been adapted into many different mediums in television in films.  There have been animated adaptations, live action adaptations, musical adaptations, and a horror version.  Hell, in 1976 there was even a pornographic adaptation released called “Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Comedy”.  So yeah, it’s a pretty popular story.  Of the many memorable characters, in Carroll’s classic tale, my favorite has to be the Mad Hatter.  Now like I said, there are many different adaptations, and a lot of different characters who played “The Mad Hatter” so save myself (and you the reader time) I’m only going to talk about the two Disney film versions of “The Mad Hatter”, but don’t worry I will talk briefly about some of the Mad Hatters from TV Mini-series and comic books as well.

CHARACTER: The Mad Hatter from “Alice in Wonderland” (1951) (2010).

     So the Mad Hatter is quite the unique and unusual character.  In both films Alice first encounters the Mad Hatter holding a tea party.  Why is he having a tea party?  Why Because it’s his Un-Birthday of course!  The Mad Hatter is joined by his two close friends the March Hare (sometimes referred to as “The Mad Hare” and the Dormouse.  He is a very neurotic and—dare I say—a hyper-active fellow.  He is sincere in his eccentric mannerisms.  He is a very gracious host who is forever trapped in a tea party that—seemingly—never ends.          

    Is he really “Mad” though?  Eccentric? Yes.  Unorthodox in his mannerisms? Yes.  Mad?  Very likely.  He appears to have the symptoms of a person who is “mad”, but he is only a danger to himself.  When we see him acting high-strung and even a little crazy he only appears to be putting himself in danger.  What I like the most about his character is that everyone around him seems to be asking him “Why?” (or more specifically “Why do you do that?) and his reply simply comes off as “Why Not?!”.  I’ve kind of discovered that philosophy in High School and it’s something that’s stuck with me all the way to adulthood.  When those ask “Why?”; You ask “Why not?!”. He is one of my favorite characters of all-time (without me even realizing it), but I mean it’s not like there’s pictures of me going around in Public dressed like the Mad Hatter...

Ahh Hell!

THE ACTOR(S):

     The Mad Hatter was voiced by actor Ed Wynn in the 1951 animated film and was played by actor Johnny Depp in the 2010 Live Action version.  Even though both men are playing the same character they both have their own distinctive differences.  

The Mad Hatter voiced by actor Ed Wynn, 1951

Wynn did not get a lot of screen time in the film.  The first time we see The Mad Hatter in the film it’s past the half-way mark and even then it’s only for a few minutes.  He also makes a brief reappearance towards the end of the film.  Wynn’s Mad Hatter comes off as more feminine than Mad.  His character has a slight lisp and he just appears to do things that are more weird, rather than crazy.  The craziest thing we see him do in the film is destroy the White Rabbit’s watch.  Wynn had a number of disadvantages as the Hatter.  For one, the running time of the film is only 75 minutes long.  That’s only one-and-a-quarter hours; very short for a “Feature Length” animated film. Also, the Mad Hatter was more of a secondary character.  The majority of the 1951 version focuses on Alice and terrible songs numbers.  I’ll be perfectly honest with you all.  I think that “Alice in Wonderland” is the worst soundtrack of all the Disney films.  None of the songs were that good or memorable, but I digress.         

Heeeeerrreesss....Johnny!

     Now, in the 2010 version directed by Tim Burton, the Mad Hatter plays a much larger role, and it’s obvious why; it had a much larger budget than the 1951 version, it had a very popular director, and he was played by freaking Johnny Depp—one of the Best and most loved actors of the last 30 years—of course he was going to have a large role in the film.  I mean, he’s on the freaking Movie Poster for crying out loud, and the film is called “Alice in Wonderland”, not “The Mad Hatter in Wonderland”.  So—you know—don’t you think Alice should be on the poster instead of the Mad Hatter?  The 2010 version was actually based off of the sequel to “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland”, “Through the Looking Glass”, but like the story and the 1951 film version we have our first encounter with The Mad Hatter at a tea party with the March Hare.  Johnny Depp’s Mad Hatter is much taller than in the animated version.  His costume is also more outrageous and colorful, and he has a pale/painted face with outrageous orange hair and different colored eyes.  Also, Johnny Depp’s Mad Hatter has two different voices.  He has his regular speaking voice (that sounds very similar to when he played Willy Wonka in “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”) and then when he’s talking about the past he has a Scottish accent, and to be honest with you all, I was really confused with when I saw it theatres because it came out of nowhere.  I remember thinking to myself the first time I heard Depp speaking in that Scottish accent; “Did Johnny Depp stop caring?”.  Later, I found out the different voices were done on purpose; though I have to be honest, I thought the Scottish accent was really stupid.

Oh, that Johnny Depp!

Character is similar to or Inspired by:

Jervis Tetch aka The Mad Hatter

Obviously, the character is inspired by Lewis Carroll’s literary works.  Not only that, but Lewis Carroll’s Mad Hatter character has gone one to inspire character’s in other shows, comic books, and entertainment mediums as well.  The Mad Hatter character has been transformed into a villain in the Batman Comic Book and Television series.  The Mad Matter Hatter in Batman is actually Jervis Tetch, a Scientist who creates many different devices to control people’s minds.  His costume is very similar to the Mad Hatter in Lewis Carroll’s books.  In recent years the Mad Hatter has garnered a bit of a cult-following amongst Batman fans.                    

The Mad Hatter has been portrayed by Sebastian Stan on the ABC Primetime Series Once Upon a Time.  Actor Andrew-Lee Potts played the character “Hatter” on the SyFy Mini-series “Alice”.  His characters sort of like a “Drug dealer of Human Emotions” and he is a very enjoyable interpretation of the Mad Hatter.  There are over a dozen other characters on Television series based off of “The Mad Hatter” from “Alice in Wonderland” and “Through the Looking Glass”.  Not only that, but musicians have also drawn inspiration from the Mad Hatter in their music videos.  Musicians such as Tom Petty and Dero Goi of Oomph! have both dressed up as the Mad Hatter in some of their music videos.

All Hail, Andrew-Lee Potts!

Dero Goi of Oomph! as the Mad Hatter

Fate of the Character

     The Mad Hatter still remains in Wonderland to this day.  He in the March Hare are forever trapped at 6:00 forever at Tea Party that will never end.